How to Pack Lunch and Eat Breakfast Simultaneously

Ingredients in order of appearance: water, oatmeal, milk, dried apricots, apple, blue cheese, couscous, walnuts, almonds, carrots, Brazil nuts, grapes, orange.

Technique (aka cooking with your mouth full):

Put a pot of water on to boil. Better yet, switch on the electric teapot.

Pour some oatmeal and milk in a bowl. Microwave it for a minute.

Start chopping up a bunch of dried apricots and an apple.

Microwave the oatmeal for another minute. For some reason, this keeps my microwave from turning my oatmeal into a volcano.

Finish chopping up fruit. Chop up a wedge of blue cheese.

When the water boils, pour it over a bowl of couscous, and cover the bowl with a plate. You want a one-to-one ratio of couscous and boiling water, but I usually just eyeball it.

Dump the apples on top of the oatmeal, add some walnuts, and eat it while rummaging through the fridge for carrots and grapes. Put the carrots and grapes in a ziploc bag with some Brazil nuts. Make sure the grapes are on top.

Keep eating while you rummage around for an orange.

Check to see if the couscous has absorbed all the water. Couscous cooks in about five minutes, so it should be done by the time you’ve had half your oatmeal.

Scrape the couscous into a tupperware container, add the apricots and blue cheese, and top it off with a bunch of almonds.

Keep eating. Deposit all lunch items (couscous, carrots & nuts, orange) in backpack.

Scarf the last bite of oatmeal while tying shoes. Run for train.

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